We all have those days; our hair falls flat halfway to work, our lips are hopelessly chapped from exposure to the wind and cold, our foundation cakes up on our noses after a weekend head cold…it happens. Unfortunately, there aren’t a lot of products on the market that fix flaky noses and dark under-eye circles fast. Instead of running to the department store, head for your own kitchen and bathroom for faster results.

Got a bad case of chapped lips? Harvest your own skin oils for quick relief! Simply rub your finger along the side of your nose or inside the cup of your ear, and wipe the film of oil on your lips. If you have very dry skin, or just feel queasy about transferring oil from one body part to the other, head for your kitchen. Plain old butter will work on chapped lips, as will rubbing your lips with olive oil.

Flaky nose? Cover the area with butter or lard, and lay a warm, damp cloth over it for five minutes. Wipe off the oil with a dry cloth, leaving a small amount on the skin. If you need to apply foundation over it, pat it over the area with a slightly damp makeup sponge. Resist the urge to rub it in! Make sure you treat the flaky area gently for the next few days to prevent breakouts and further damage.

Dark circles under your eyes from a long night out are easily treated with a pair of spoons and a glass of ice water. Chill the spoons in the water, place them over your eyes for five minutes, and repeat until the swelling subsides. The discoloration can be minimized by using a liquid concealer, applied very gently with a sponge. Do not rub or pull the skin; that will make the discoloration and swelling worse.

If your “dark circles” are actually caused by bruising, drink pineapple juice along with using chilled spoons. The botulin in pineapples helps heal bruising faster.

What if you suddenly discover a big, red, scary zit right in the middle of your back, ruining your plans to wear that cute backless dress this weekend? Go digging in your medicine chest and find that ancient tube of “drawing salve” your grandmother gave you. Yes, it stinks, and it stains anything that comes in contact with it, but you can put a dot on a zit and wear a black tee shirt to protect your clothing or sheets. In just a few hours, it will pull all the oil and nastiness out of the pimple, and after a quick exfoliation, you’ll never even know it was there. Do not use drawing salve on your face, however; its pitch black, smells like coal oil, and you really don’t want to try to explain why it’s on your face if you have an unexpected visitor!

If your hair is the problem, you’re in luck. If your hair is fine and limp, you can temporarily thicken it by rinsing it with diluted clear gelatin. It will take a curl better, look thicker, and feel healthier. If your hair falls flat because it’s oily, you can freshen your scalp by running a cotton ball soaked in witch hazel over your scalp. You can also rub a palm full of cornstarch through your hair and brushing it out.

Found yourself bloated after eating too much salty food and drinking too much soda? Draw a hot bath, and mix up a pitcher of ice water with lemons in it. Drink the water while soaking in the tub. Replace the bath water when it cools with another tub of the hottest water you can stand. You’ll sweat out a lot of the excess fluid, and be able to button your pants when you get out of the tub.

What if the problem is that your teeth are looking dull and yellow? Brush your teeth with salt! The abrasiveness will help remove imbedded impurities and stains. Obviously, you don’t want to do this every day!

Yellowed fingernails can be bleached safely with a  paste of peroxide and baking soda. Make your paste about as thick as toothpaste, and “paint” your nails with it. Put on a pair of plastic or latex gloves, and leave the paste on for thirty minutes. Repeat as needed.

Got a bad case of funky feet? Or did you forget your deodorant this morning? Plain rubbing alcohol will kill the germs responsible for stinky feet and underarms; just make sure you don’t have any cuts or wounds on your skin before you apply it!

Last but not least, if you’re just having an all-around ugly day, just smile! No one can look perfect all the time, and if you just relax and look happy with yourself, people will still see you as more attractive than if you sit and mope about how you look!